Still Holding On
by Out-the-Open-Window
Summary: Should Senior Year Matter Sequel: Jo graduated from school early, which leaves more time for her and Dougie, but people get in the way which could totally ruin their lives. Jewel finally confesses her fancy, and Lauren struggles with her love.
1. Let's Get This Party Started

I was so lost, couldn't see where I was headed, or where I was. But, I was in complete and utter bliss. "You are crazy." I said, shaking my head.

"Come on, Jo. It's just a bit further, they told me not to untie this. No matter how much I wanted to." I rolled my eyes under the black headscarf I owned that was doubling it's duty as a blindfold.

"Please. Just for a bit." I tried using my sweet and innocent voice to coo him out of putting this ridiculous thing off my face. "I won't say a thing about it." I pulled his hand tighter towards my body. "But I'll definitely make it worth a little yelling and scolding." I had heard the strict orders that my cousin had given him, walk me to the location, while she and her boyfriend would drive. The others would be there an hour or so before.

He was hesitating, he was trying to fight that feeling. God knows he's been holding onto it forever. Sighing, he responded, "Sorry. No can do." But his grip on my hand tightened. "It'll be worth the wait."

"Well, where are we going, Buckingham Place to meet the Queen? Can you at least give me a hint?" My moods were swinging, because they were swimming in my head.

That's why I hate not knowing where I'm going. I always know where I am, where I'm going. I mean, I know where I was, anyone who's in their right mind knows their past. I mean I was born in Milwaukee, raised in Chicago, now staying in London with my cousin. I was an actress, a makeup artist, and planning to gain a degree in psychology and psychiatry, just as a decoration.

"If I get a kiss." Typical of my boyfriend, he can barely keep it in his pants, if he didn't use the fear of God and morality that everyone else pounded into our heads. That's when I hatched a plan, he would get his kiss, and I'd get to see where I was going.

"Deal, but where are you? I don't know." I heard him scoff at my naiveness. Then I felt a hand on the back of my neck.

"Well, I'll help you." He said as I felt his hand, now growing cold compared to my neck, that was covered by a light scarf. "Lean forward." He told me. I did so, but very slowly, "Don't be a tease, Jo." He said, almost pleading, I just smiled. My plan was already in effect and he was too busy waiting for his kiss. Slowly, at the same speed that I was leaning forward, I was reaching for the knot on the blindfold.

When our lips were almost touching, I yanked the end of the headscarf, and I pulled it back before it touched anything else. I opened my eyes just as we began to kiss, but my plan had a flaw.

The damn boy had kept his eyes open. So I was staring straight into the beautiful blue-green eyes that captivated me the first time I'd met him. I was caught, but I continued to kiss him, and he did the same. I looked around and only saw the blondish red hair of my boyfriend, since he had dyed his hair, again, and still had its bangs(or fringe) just at eyebrow's length. We finally pulled away and I sighed, "I'm busted aren't I?" I winced, but only playfully.

And he laughed. Ah, that laugh, it made me (_hold for total cliché)_ weak in the knees. "Maybe. This is hint enough." He turned me around and my face lit up in delight. Piccadilly Circus, I knew exactly where we were going.

"I adore you, Poynter." I said as I leaned in suddenly and kissed him, smiling into it. He grasped my hair this time, and he's not the only one who dyes his hair.

I had spent a good chunk of cash on getting my hair done professionally, it was curled, into tight ringlets. The color itself was a bluish-black with a thousand bright red streaks that were dispersed everywhere in my hair. My bangs were cut below my prominent cheekbones, covering my hazel eyes, and the length of my hair was now at the small of my back, naturally. I really determined to grow my hair out to donate it. Which I was doing the next time I was getting my hair cut, thanks to my cousin, Giorgina, who is so awesome and a hair stylist I might add.

"Okay, let's get going. But at least pretend to be surprised." Dougie said as he grabbed the headscarf from me and tied it to the back of my head again.

"It's like asking me to keep writing." I responded as I entered darkness again. "just be happy I'm an excellent actress." I said as I felt him take my hand again and I let the rest of my senses take over.

Let me tell you, we rely on sight _way_ too much. I let in a breath and I smelled melting sugar, gasoline. I let my hearing(_that's been damaged for a while_) then take over and I heard the clicking of heels(including mine), children getting out of school cheering for joy. And I felt the warmth of my jacket, scarf, and Dougie's hand wrapped around my own. Then there was the chilly wind of London, which comes with the territory.

I was finally put to a stop as I heard the clutter and scattered whispers of voices I recognized in the spur of the moment. I first heard, Gia's, followed by Lauren's and Tom's. Then there was I voice that almost hurt my ears in its shrill pitch. _Why did she invite her? I hate her._ Of course I was talking about my classmate, Janice, I despised her with every fiber of my being, but it was her father's place.

But for Janice, she acted as a friend, but only dug deep into my being and pried out the rotten, which would let her claw her way to the top and to my boyfriend. But then, I really have nothing to worry about, cause Dougie thinks that she's rotten through and through, like my thoughts of her. But then I knew the rest of her slutty cronies would be following her like the bitches they are.(_Harsh, I know, but they would diss me at every chance they got, and went all 'It's so great to see you' when they found out I was potentially related to the Britain's biggest boy band.)_

Yeah, you heard me, I'm _almost_ related to the UK boy band, McFly. Plus I'm dating one of them too. Top of my classes, I got to graduate early, but I still hang out with Jewel, one of the coolest chicks I know. Of course, there are my mates from Redwood Academy, the brother school to my all-girl cathouse.

"Just a bit further." I head Dougie say, with a little disgust in his voice. He must have heard her too. I heard commanding hushes as we got to the overpass, they knew we were here. But why the hell are we here? I'm still guessing in my head why they even booked the area in the first place.

"Okay, stop." Dougie commanded me softly. "Hold still so I can this blindfold off of you." he let go of my hand and I felt his warmth go to my back. I felt a slight tug on my headscarf and I opened my eyes.

"Surprise!" Everyone screamed and I felt my mouth drop and eyes pop. The garden of the restaurant was amazing- no, beyond amazing. The snow white overpass I was about to enter was entangled in white icicle Christmas lights and pink roses. I saw the red and aqua blue Chinese lanterns dangling from thread. Each of the tables had a white table cloth and a center place of a pillar glass filled with colored glass pebbles and a tall-stemmed red rose.

I couldn't believe it, the garden looked mind-blowingly beautiful. I didn't even have to act my reaction. "Oh, my GOD!" I squealed as Dougie put an arm around my waist. "Gia, this place is-I can't even think about what to say." I hugged her tightly when she walked up to me. "But why all this for me?"

"Are you kidding me?" I looked to see Tom, looking a little angry. "You graduated early at the top of your class." I shook my head, as if it was nothing, "You deserve the best party ever."

"You're too much." I hugged Tom tightly. "But really, all this for me?" I eyed him intently.

"Well, we thought you deserved it, you know, making Doug so happy." His tilted his head towards Dougie, who was having a beer with Harry and Lauren(_who's already of age, I'm still freakin' 17!_).

"Tom, we've only been going out for-" I paused to think how long it was since our first date, which the day before Halloween. "A month."

"Not according to him." I raised an eyebrow, "He said that it was 3 weeks before that, when you had breakfast together." I smiled, our first kiss, that's the only thing I can really thank Janice for doing. To get her to shut her mouth, he kissed me. In front of the school grounds, in front of the league of sluts and everyone there.

I bit my lip to try and avoid the growing blush on my cheeks. Tom smirked, "Why am I not surprised?" He shook his head, "Congrats, Jo."

"Thanks Tom." I hugged him again, but smacked him on the shoulder when we unlocked our embrace.

"Ow! What was that for?" He asked, rubbing his shoulder a bit.

"Spending all that money on me, you must be mental." I shook my head and walked to the bar. "Who does he think I am, the first lady? Must have spent enough to feed my family for 2 months," I huffed, "Crazy."

"Hi, Jo." I heard the shrill voice, and I froze like a statue. _Janice Kinston._ "It's such a great party, but for such a worthless cause. I mean, you graduated early, people do it all the time. I mean, it's just for you, seems a like a waste of money to me." There was the bomb, she had pointed out that all of the this was pointless. "I mean, if it was for the entire class, then it would be awesome, but for you." She huffed, "Please."

"Well," I turned to her, with all the hate I could muster, "We could hold a 'Skinny Bitch' celebration, and it'd be just for you." I said in a fake cheery tone. "How 'bout that, Miss. 'If it's not for me, I'll just burn everyone else's cheer to bits'."

"Get bent." She shot back and I crossed my arms over my chest, a smug smile crossed my lips. Doesn't she know to give up, I beat her all the time.

"You know, you _really _need to brush up on your American lingo, cause it sucks. 'Get bent' is something you should tell a boy." I said like she was a little kid, which wasn't hard, since I'm taller then her. "So you can go fly a kite then shove it up that space between your legs for storage when you're done with it, kay?" I whirled around and heard her spatter, because she had just been hair whipped(_Another plus of having long hair_). I walked to Jewel, "God, why is _she_ here?" I scoffed as I jabbed a thumb at Janice.

"Ask Danny." She said with the same force before downing a shot. "Sorry, it's just really annoying why he invited her."

"Oh, I can guess. And I'm gonna tear him a new one when I'm through with him." I rolled my eyes as I turned to the bartender and ordered a soda. I shook my head, "Other than Queen Bitch over there, how's school?"

"Fine, I guess." Jewel shrugged her shoulders. "It would be so much better if you were still there."

"Well, now I guess I have more time to start on my projects." Since Tom and Gia had been focusing on little chores or 'projects' to do, I thought why shouldn't I have one?

My goal is to go to beauty school and become a makeup artist. For that I needed plenty of practice. Jewel and Lauren had volunteer to be my subjects while I taught myself, but I needed more then just girls to test my skills on. But some (_okay, most_) of the guys I know, won't go 15 feet within a makeup product. I considered Tom and the boys, but they had spent enough time with it on their faces, I didn't want to push them. I got my soda and smiled.

"Speaking of the devil." Danny walked up, a smirk on his face. "You, me. Need to talk, now." I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and dragged him to a secluded corner of the garden, "What the Hell is wrong with you?" I said, hoping I didn't make a scene.

"What did I do now?" he sounded like a four year old getting caught stealing form the cookie jar.

"You invited _her._" I emphasized the disgust on my face. "I swear my bad karma all adds up to her, bitching about this party."

"Who? Janice?" He asked, I love Danny like a big brother, but he's so fucking thick sometimes, it gets annoying.

"No, Michelle Obama. Duh, it's Janice. I mean I get it, she's-" I had to pause to muster what I was going to say, '-hot, but dude, she's made me schooling a living hell and is still making Jewel's the same." I shook my head.

"So you two don't get along-" Danny started, but I cut him off, I was on a roll for God's sake.

"Oh, you think it'd be all peaches and cream when Queenie found out I'm more popular then her. She almost ruined my life if it hadn't been for Dougie, and even then wondered why someone like him should be with someone like me. Now the party, to her it's not worth all of this for me. I mean, she's right it's such a small thing to celebrate, but-" I swallowed the rising tears. There was no way I was going to cry, over something so worthless.

"But you are worth it." I felt Danny's arms hug me. "You're definitely worth all of this, and you're the only one who doesn't seem to know it."

"What the Hell is wrong with you? Even I know I'm not worth this. I curse all the time, I'm impatient, a hothead, violent-"

"Clever, compassionate, understanding, gentle." I heard a new voice and I turned to see Dougie, he apparently had heard the entire conversation. "Danny's right, Jo. You do deserve this, and so much more." I smiled, he always knew how to make me feel better.

"You two," I paused, smiling even bigger then before, "Are so thick." They smirked, "Well, I'm gonna head back, since I still have to greet everyone else." I took in a deep breath before heading back.


	2. Wind It Up and Break Me Down

**Hey everyone! I hope all my readers are well, cause Christmas is only 2 weeks away! I know I'm excited.  
So here is another update for you. I hope you enjoy!**

I laughed, I hate to say this, but Anthony tells the best stories. Sure he's a lot like Danny, a bachelor party guy, but he's twice as smart as him, and half as clumsy. He was telling me a story of the last arena tour the boys had and all the crazy stuff they did. And it sounds like so much fun, if only I could do stuff like that, and get paid for it.

"Hey there gorgeous." I looked up to see Dougie, "Having fun without me?" He asked, smug in his question.

"Much, I should ditch you more often." I joked. He shook his head, knowing that I was kidding. After a while the boys got used to my sense of humor, it took a little longer for Danny to wrap his head around, but you know. (_Sorry I'm bashing Danny a bit, he's just on my nerves with the whole Janice thing. But I set him straight, still wants to date the bitch though(__**Yeah I said it, again, but it's **_**so**_** true**__) but only for 'physical reasons' as I'm told_)

"Yeah, maybe I should go to that strip club that Danny and Harry always go to." I lightly smacked his shoulder. "You know, that party's winding down." I looked around and I felt my face express my shock.

"What time is it?" The garden was almost empty, I knew that Tom and Gia had left early, and Jewel left half an hour ago, since she had to go work at the café 3 blocks from her house.

"Almost 1." I felt my mouth drop. I needed some sleep, I was having brunch with Melissa at 10:30. "Come on, I'll drive you home." He took my hand and led me to his car. Which I adored, it was an Audi. I really like the car, a silver creamy color, it could have looked awesome in black, but it was Dougie's car after all. I got into the passenger's seat and waited for Dougie to start the car.

"So, Tom and Gia are having that movie night. Still want to go?" He asked, knowing that I'd be tired spending my day with my sister Melissa. She had left me with my mom and (technically) my step-dad when I was 13, and she popped into my life around 3 weeks ago, at Tom and Gia's and my Halloween parties. We've been trying to patch things up since.

"Nah, it's some sappy movie that they both want to see. I want to see some gore." I said and Dougie chuckled, I was such a gore hound. I mean, not that anyone minded, but I was more into slasher movies then 'The Notebook'. "How about our own private movie night at your place? I'll bring the movies if you have some food."

"Sure." Dougie was smiling, he was going to plan something. Why does he do that? He's going to use the entire day to do something, I doubt he'll sleep. He's really romantic and all, but sometimes it gets a little crazy.

"And don't go to any trouble, cause if you do Poynter, I'll smack you." I threatened him and I meant it

"Ohh, getting kinky aren't we, Holly?" I looked him like he was nuts, no one ever calls me by my first name, only my mom does, and when I get in trouble. So he might just be insane.

"I'm sorry, who?" I asked him, knowing that he missed that he called me 'Holly' I mean, it is my first name and all, but I've been called Jo since I was 3, it's been like that since.

"You, getting kinky. I like it." He was beaming, he knew how to push my buttons, I'll give him that.

"I'm sure you do." I laughed as he looked at me with blush crawling up his cheeks as we pulled into the driveway of Tom and Gia's house. "Well, see you tomorrow then?"

"Without a doubt in my mind." Dougie leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I glared at him.

"Oh, you." I sighed and gave him an actual kiss. I could feel the care and sweetness that Dougie had for me radiate off that kiss, and before it broke I ran the tip of my tongue across his lip. "Good night." I got out of the car and walked to the front door. I grabbed my key from my pocket and unlocked the door.

I sighed, it felt great to be home. As far as I was considered, London was more of my home then Milwaukee and Chicago ever were. And my life here was a complete 360 compared to my life back in America. I mean, I'm older. I can't drive here, but I can certainly get around, thanks to the boys, or Jewel. And I'm in walking distance from almost everything I need.

I walked upstairs to my room and the first thing I threw off were my heels. Walking in London with them on all day can get really painful. I'm not surprised that Gia never wears them, I still don't know why we still wear them, they're just our submission to the man, so we can't run from them(_I'm so not kidding. I dare you to look it up. Go ahead, I'll wait.)_.

After I threw them into my closet, I got rid of my black leather jacket and my plaid sweater, leaving me in my black lace cami. I grabbed a pair of black sweats and traded those in for my skinny black jeans. I tied my hair up into a massive bun and turned on my TV. I went to my DVD Player and put in 'Friday the 13th' I had got it as a present from one of my friends, Jared. He spent plenty of time watching these kinds of movies, he's a little nuts, but him being an actor and all. He was actually in this one, so I watch it all the time, since I never see him. Even more now, cause he lives on the west coast, in LA.

I curled up and I think I laughed more then jumped, when the movie was over, I looked at my clock. It was 3:30, great. I decided to turn in, playing some Paul McCartney as I drifted off.

* * *

"Hey, Jo. Get up! You have to see Mel in an hour." I lifted my head to see Lauren and Gia hovering over me. "Come on, we picked out your outfit and everything." Lauren begged.

"Is there a reason why you want me out of the house so badly?" I asked as I got out of my bed and turned off my iPod speakers. "Are you planning to throw my stuff out or something?"

"We just don't want you to be late, that's all." Gia reasoned, smiling. "Now get dressed, Tom brought coffee for you."

"Bless him." I put a hand on my heart. "I'll be done soon, anything for coffee." They both shook their head as they left and closed my door. I ready needed some pick me up music, so I thought some AC/DC might do some justice. Putting on 'Thunderstruck', I set to work of putting on a khaki mini, black leggings, black and pink polka dotted flats, and a bright pink polo. I grabbed my white corduroy jacket before I put on a pale pink eyeshadow, shaded out with a darker pink and rim my eyes with black eyeliner, a coat of black mascara and pale pink lipstick.

I walked downstairs and saw that Harry had walked over for breakfast, or just for an excuse to talk to Lauren. She and I might be cousins, but we act and look like twins. And I know when she likes someone too. "Morning." I said as I grabbed the cup of Starbucks from Tom's outstretched hand. I took a sip and rolled my eyes to the ceiling. "Pumpkin Latte. You are Heaven on Earth." I hugged Tom.

"Be careful, Dougie might get jealous." He smirked as I pulled away. "You'll be ready to go in a bit."

"Dude, I'm ready now." I held my hands up, "Why do you think I'm all spruced up and not in my sweats." He rolled his eyes, he totally knew that answer: Coffee. Thanks to him, I'm just as obsessed about Starbucks as he is, but it's not cheap. So for the past week, I've been trying to convince him that the McDonald's coffee is just as good. Not that much of a success, but he'll come around.

"Fine, let's go." He said as he grabbed the car keys to the mini and walked out with me to the car. "Getting colder out." He said as he started the car and turned on the heater.

"I'm sure it's like any winter in Chicago, or Vancouver. The ones in Canada's big snow country are freezing." And I'm not joking, in the middle of summer there, it feels like the end of fall there.

"Then you'll be ready?" He asked, "Cause lately, it's been freezing here."

"I'm sure I can handle myself." I said smiling as we drove down the road, closer to London and it's hideous traffic. London traffic is exactly like LA during rush hour, all the time. But we must have been lucky, there was very little time to wait for us. When we got the edge of the Thames, he dropped me off. "I'll catch the tube home." I said before walking to the restaurant. Tom and Gia find it easy to travel by train around England and I couldn't agree more. It's the easiest way to travel, no wonder that's big in New York.

"Alright, call me when you get to the station." He yelled then sped off down the road. I shook my head and continued down the street. I began looking for Mel as I continued walking and went to the entrance of the place where we were supposed to meet.

"Jo! Jo, over here!" I ears picked up the voice of my older sister, looking to the area where I heard the voice. It looked like my sister, but she had an asymmetrical bob with dark auburn hair and side swept bangs.

"Hey, you did your hair." She was dressed in a earthen green sleeveless dress and black leather belt that matched the black shoes under her feet. I hugged her, "Missed you at the party."

"I know, I'm sorry, something came up at the agency." I didn't mention to you that my sister is a publicist, so for us to schedule something is a miracle on her end. "It was a live or die situation, I had to go."

"It's okay, I can't believe that they went to so much trouble for one small party though." I shook my head as we were led to our table. "I mean, it was gorgeous and all, but it looked ridiculous for graduation."

"Yeah, it's a bad thing to throw a party when someone graduates a semester early with high honors." Mel is where I learned my amazing gift a sarcasm from, she taught me everything she knows. "By the way." She reached into the massive purse of hers and pulled out a black velvet box and another black one, wrapped in patent paper. "Happy Graduation from high school, sister."

"Mel," I looked at her with my 'really?' expression. "You didn't have to do this."

"But I had to, I saw these and they made me think of you. Open the small one first." I took the boxes reluctantly and took the black velvet box first. There was a blue bow on the top, and the box itself was about the length of my arm.

I sighed and pushed the lid back. I almost dropped it from my hands and onto the floor. It was beautiful, she had gotten me an earring and bracelet set. Both were silver and sapphires. The earrings were 4 teardrops that linked onto one another and had pearls connecting each drop. In the center was the sapphires cut to match the shape of the drops. The outline of the drops were in very tiny diamonds.

The bracelet was just as striking. It was like the earrings in design, but the bracelet had silver charms that dangled from it. "Mel," I beamed at her as I lifted my head up, "They're beautiful." I bit my lip. "Thank you."

"Well, my new client should look amazing." She smiled and I laughed. For the past few times we've met up, Mel's been trying to get me to sign with her as my publicist, which I'm leaning towards. "Open the other one, it's for school though."

I shook my head and ripped the glossy black paper from the box. The black box under it was smooth and soft in texture. I opened it and pulled out a black leather roll. "Brushes, for the makeup."

"Mel, oh my God. This is amazing." I hugged her over the table. "Thank you so much."

"Oh, you deserve it." She smiled, "Put the bracelet on. Here, I'll help." She picked up the bracelet and snapped it on my right wrist (_since I'm left-handed and all_) and sat back down, "I knew that bracelet was made for you."

"Like I deserve anything." I mumbled, rolling my eyes.

* * *

"So, 2 weeks?" Mel asked, we had just finished brunch and she had gotten a call from the agency, cutting our shopping trip short.

"2 weeks. Have fun in Paris." I smiled, her next assignment was in Paris of all places and she was complaining. "Not that you will." She smirked, and hugged me goodbye. I began walking toward the tube station and smiled as I peered inside an HMV store and saw that Radio:ACTIVE was on the first shelf, along with a ton of their singles. I continued down my path and something caught my eye. _Shit, I can't believe it._

"Jared?" I said, baffled at the sight I was seeing. The man turned to face me. "Oh, my God!" I jumped into his arms, literally.(_He's 6'6" guys, he's the next Yau Ming._) "What the Hell are you doing here?"

"Well, I was planning to surprise you, but I guess it's spoiled." He shrugged his shoulders. I smiled, he's like my big brother, my _big_ brother. "Lauren called me, got the number off your phone."

"Of course she did." I rolled my eyes and scoffed. "I'm heading home now, so if you want…" He shook his head and I looked confused.

"I'm not letting you throw out your night at the boyfriend's house for me." I rolled my eyes, he knew. Why? I told him last night, like the idiot I am. "You're going, we'll meet up tomorrow." He pointed across the street. "That's where I'm staying."

"Noted, I'll call in the morning." I glanced at the shelf, and handed him a CD, a smile on my face. "Try this, it's fantastic." I walked out, but yelled to the background. "Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow!" Was the response from him as a ran down the street and went to the station.

* * *

**You know you could hit that little green button down there and say something about this chapter....any takers???**


	3. Makeup, Food and The Past

**Okay, huge, HUGE apoligies are in order, guys! It's been such a long time since I've been writing (my muses decided to hide, since they were so stubborn) but I've been writing a lot more lately, so here's the next installement of the story. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

"Is anyone there?" I asked as I closed the door behind me. "I'm back!" I slid my flats off as quickly as I could, my feet were killing me. On the ride back on the tube, I stood the entire time, which was not the most comfortable for me, seeing as I was squished between two guys that kept looking down my chest or at my ass, which is really getting on my nerves. I had sworn to myself if they had continued, they were due for a swift kick in their manhood, or their ass, which ever one I felt would do the job better.

I mean, I get it, I have boobs and an ass, with hips. But having guys 'trying' to steal a look when I'm next to them makes me want to punch their lights out. If my boyfriend does it, that's fine, they have my permission, within limits. It's the unspoken rule.

"In the den!" I heard someone call out, didn't sound like Lauren though. I walked through the kitchen and into the room with the large screen lighting the entire room with a dark glow. "Hey, how was brunch with Mel?" Jewel was sitting on the couch close to Danny while Lauren was curled up on one of the ends.

"Good, I got a few presents and I saw someone special on the way home too." I smiled as I undid my hair. "Lemme just change, and I swear I'll tell you all about it." I then ran upstairs and yanked off my skirt, leggings and jacket to throw on a pair of gray jeans and a black pinstriped vest. I switched my makeup to a silver smokey eye and pale peach lips. Setting my clothes in the white wicker hamper in the corner of my room and I sighed as I threw on one of Dougie's caps I'd stolen earlier in the week.

That's what I love about being in a relationship, you can nick a few things and your partner won't mind. If they find out, they can be morons and make a mountain out of it, or they just shrug their shoulders about it. My last boyfriend, Caleb, would be a complete dick and tell me to leave his things be, especially after we passed the 2 year milestone. But with Doug, he just nicks things off of me right back, it's almost like a game between us, who can steal the most stuff off the other? But after we get tired of it, we give them back, with no hurt feelings.

I headed back downstairs and sat on the other end of the couch, next to Jewel. "Ok, I'm back." I rested my hands on my knees, and turned to the screen and noticed something. "Hey, isn't this one of my movies?"

"Yeah, we kinda raided your room for some of yours." Danny mumbled, he knew that I didn't like it when people took things out of my room without asking. Because of Danny, who had taken my movies and forgot them. I turned to him and raised an eyebrow. "Sorry."

I continued to stare at him at lethal intensity, letting him grow even more nervous then before. "No worries." I simply said as I laid back on the couch.

"So come on. Tell us, who did you see? Was it some A-list movie star?" Jewel asked as she and Lauren turned their attention towards me.

"You could say something like that. After I got some stuff from Mel." I said as I pushed some of my hair back from my face with the one that had my bracelet resting on its wrist.

"Oh, my God! Let me see that!" Lauren grabbed my hand and yanked it towards her, on the other side of the couch. "It's gorgeous!"

"Thank you." I winced as I pulled my arm into a comfortable perimeter. "But next time, the attempt to dislocate my arm better not be attempted." Lauren looked at the floor and curled back up into her corner of the sofa. "But anyways, after that I was walking to the station and I stopped and HMV for a bit to see if there was anything new. And you are not gonna guess who I saw."

"Brad Pitt?" Jewel asked, "No, no I got it, Christian Bale."

"Jared, he decided to surprise me after he called a certain someone." I eyed Lauren as she blushed the similar color of red on her lips. "Laur, I love you and all, but you need to get a grip, and tell me these things sometimes."

"So you gonna go hang out with him?" Laur had managed to ignore my beat down of her because she was to busy being starstruck.

"Tomorrow."

"Why not go tonight? It'll get you out of Tom and Gia's mushy movie night." Danny brought up as he sat back down, an open beer in his hands.

"Well, I'm going over to Doug's for a movie and he can help me with my portfolio for my class." I tapped my knee with my fingertips, "Still need at least one male subject.. then it'd be finished, I'd just need to put it on the computer."

"I can help." Danny said before taking a sip of beer, "Let me be the subject." I stared at him for a moment in shock. Danny's the least tolerable of makeup, so for him to volunteer is a bit of a blow.

"Really?" He nodded, "That'd be great."

"Sure, that way, it'll be easier for us to find someone we like for the videos." I smiled at Danny's remark as I got off the couch. "We'll do it in the kitchen, that's were the best lighting is, and the hanging mirror on the wall and all."

"I'll be there." Danny smiled as I ran up to my room, I had just gotten a ton of things from my family from graduation, including a thousand different makeup brands and brushes for me to play with. I grabbed a large black, aqua laced makeup case I had, full of brushes, foundation, blushes, bronzers, the full package. I began to think that I would do a natural and work my way up to dramatic, if that was all right with Danny.

I smiled as I looked at the case. Tom and Gia had gotten it for me when they found out I was going to be a makeup artist. They had really gone insane when they got me this stuff, I mean, not only did they buy this, but palettes upon palettes of powders, creams, concealers, about 200 brushes, 50 fake lashes. I almost cried over it, it was just so much for them to spend. But then I was told that Danny, Harry and Izzy had also chipped in. I still think it was too much. Then there was Dougie's gift, a camera. But not just any old digital camera. It was the best that money could buy, he had said that it was for taking pictures, since he knew that I was going to be sending pictures back to my friends back in Chicago, my blog, and my portfolio. It also recorded video in high-definition, so that I could record their shows if I had to miss them.

Dougie was so sweet some times, and he knew more about me then so many more people close to me in my life did. My last boyfriend, knew nothing and wanted to know nothing. So that's the way it stayed.

"Okay, so I was thinking that I start with the natural look them build it up." I began to unlock the case and spread the trays contained in it apart.

"Build it up?" Danny looked confused as I pulled out a foundation primer.

"Yeah, but we can do the natural look if that's what you want, but I need to do something with these." I held up a palette with metallic creams in it. "So I was thinking, I could make you look like a robot or something." My smile drooped a bit, "Is that alright?"

"Yeah, of course." I smiled wider as I began to put the primer on. Danny and makeup don't mix well together, so this'll be really interesting.

* * *

"Okay, all done." I smiled at my work, it was perfect. "Danny, open up." Danny opened his eyes, and they widened. "So, what'd you think?"

"Bloody brilliant!" He was smiled as he looked at it, "I don't think I'll take it off, you really outdid yourself, Jo." I had used the metallic creams and a few brushes to have different tones of metal, bronze, silver, iron, gold. Then I had taken a black gel eyeliner and had drawn lines and dots that made it look like his face was wielded together, then placed transparent powder over it to conceal it. I did have to agree with Danny, I did go over the top with it.

"Thanks." I smiled, "Now look serious for one second while I take a picture." I grabbed my digital camera again from the kitchen counter and took a picture. "Thanks so much, Danny. They're great."

"Anytime." He gave me hug, "Hey is there anyway I can keep this on for the rest of the day?" I looked at him, confused. "I really like it."

"Sure." I grabbed a glass spray bottle, "Just close your eyes and let the spray dry, then it should set after a few seconds." Before I pushed the lever down to let the spray out, "Oh, it's best you hold your breath, this stuff smells pretty strong."After Danny did so, I sprayed a couple times, "Okay, you're all set."

"Thanks, Jo. I really like it." He smiled at me. "You're gonna be a fantastic makeup artist."

"Thank you, Danny. It means a lot for you to say that." It really did, though, I was applying to one of the best makeup schools in the world, in downtown London. Tons of the best makeup artists in the world went there, maybe I'll scrape up to be one of them, I suppose.

* * *

"Hey there, gorgeous." Dougie smiled as he answered his door, "Right on time, as usual."

"Well, I like to be on time." I stepped into his flat, and then whizzed around to stare at him, "Is there something wrong with that?"

"No, of course not. I love that you're on time." He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and squeezed me closer to him. "You hungry?" He asked as he kissed my cheek.

"Starving." I paused, "You didn't cook, did you?"

"No..." Dougie looked at me confused.

"Good, then I'm starved." Dougie laughed, I do adore him and all, but he's one of the worst cooks known to man, seeing as he starts to sweat profusely after 10 minutes or so at the stove or and oven, and burns his hands all the time. It's kinda cute when he gets frustrated, his forehead tenses up and his nose scrunches, but he's so determined, that I can't say anything, much less let out a second of a hysterical giggle. I can't really tell him I'm a bad cook, cause he knows my flaws and he'll make fun of me for a while, or until I threaten to hold out a little longer from him.

"Good." Dougie still looked confused, but went to the kitchen, I followed suite, suppressing another set of giggles. "I got takeout, that allright?"

"It's perfect." I smiled as he took the stuff out of the oven, most likely to keep it warm, but I didn't want to ask, since I don't know what the hell else he could be doing by putting them in the oven otherwise.

"Pesto pasta, and garlic bread." Dougie laid them out as he grabbed some wine and silverware.

"Good thing I have mints in my pocket, then." I smiled as he handed me a small amount of wine in a glass. "Thank you." I usually don't drink, unless I've been offered, I never drank when I was back in America, I guess I was the good kid because of it, but other wise, I was not the most favorited in the family. Since I'm the middle child, I'm usually the most neglected, that is until Melissa, who's my older half-sister, left without so much as a goodbye. Then there was the baby of the family, Anthony, my half-brother, who was still in school, junior high, to be exact.

Now, I'm sure you're asking if I'm the middle child and I have half-siblings, what caused that whole thing? Well, shortly after Mel was born, my mother and 'father' got into a series of fights that were so bad, Mel stayed with our grandma and mom went off to England to visit my aunt who was living there at the time. There she met some guy, who happened to be one of my aunt's friends, one thing led to another, and I was conceived. The worst part about the whole thing, is that my mom never told my dads, or the rest of the family. Mel found out by mistake, and then my mom decides to tell me that my dad, the one who raised me, isn't my dad. (_Great job on the parenting skills, ma, you should get a damn Nobel Prize for that whopper._)

Dougie and I sat close to the other on the couch in his flat and ate our food, while watching... well, I'm not totally sure with what I'm watching-I just hope Doug asks me if I like this or not- so I'm just staring at my food like a schmuck.

"You okay?" Dougie asked, after a few moments of silence. I nodded as I place my plate on his glass table.

"I'm fine, just really tired." I smiled sweetly at him as I leaned back into the sofa without another word. "It doesn't really help to fall asleep at one then get up at like 8 or 9." (_Even though I stay up til five in the morning so I can call other friends, then I wake up at 7, other wise I'd sleep until noon or one in the afternoon. That's really bad.) _Dougie continued to glare at me, as if he thought I was lying, "I just need some sugar or caffeine, oh, or some orange juice." I got up quickly, "I'll be right back." I then walked into the kitchen, with a bit of a skip in my step.

I knew I was fooling Dougie for a bit, but I wasn't gonna be able to hide that I felt something really bad was going to happen. It's that tight feeling in your stomach, then it just seems to drop down the Grand Canyon, leaving you with that empty, shelled out feeling. Yeah, that's the one. It sucks.

I went into Dougie's fridge and pulled out his carton of orange juice. I then grabbed a glass and filled it up halfway, then tilted it to look like I had actually drunken some of it already. Replacing the carton back in the fridge, I looked out the window, the stomach tricks kicking in again.

Okay, I had to tell Dougie, just to let him know.-No I couldn't, there's not a chance in Hell that says he'd believe me.-At least he'd know that I felt that something was off. (_I can't believe that I'm having an argument about talking, I _always _talk._) I sighed, I had to tell him, and also about Jared, so he wouldn't freak out at all.

Chewing on the inside of my lip, I grabbed the glass of orange juice, and headed back into the kitchen. I knew that I looked nervous, because the moment I sat down, Dougie asked me, "You're sure your alright?" Curse him and his constant monitoring of me and my facial expressions. I hesitated, "You can tell me, you should know that by now." Dougie wrapped an arm around my shoulder then grabbed one of my hands resting on my lap and gave it a squeeze.

I sighed heavily, "Have you ever had the feeling in your gut that everything is going to be different? And it's going to happen really badly?" Dougie nodded, "Since this afternoon, I've had that feeling over and over again." I could feel my chest tightening, knowing that I would soon start crying if I didn't pause for a moment. It didn't happen.

"It's okay, Jo." Dougie then hugged me close to him, "It'll be okay, just have fun with Jared tomorrow, alright?" I gave him a confused look (_How the Hell did he know that already?_) "Lauren told all of us." I rolled my eyes, laughing along with Dougie as I did so.

"It'll be alright? I promise you, I'll be here at all hours if I have to, to prove to you that you'll be just fine." Dougie whispered to me as we huddled close to the other, and engrossed ourselves in a movie on TV. _God, I sure hope so._


	4. We'll Take the Town

**Hey! I'm back with another chapter! YAY! I'm actually back into writing again, because my stupid muse finally became visible. I hope you enjoy! Please Tell me if you do!**

* * *

I sat, tapping my fingernails against my jean clad legs, waiting for Jared is such a pain sometimes. I was rainy when I got up and caught the tube back downtown to get a cup of coffee at the lobby of Jared's hotel, so I was sitting in a blandly painted room with a blooming neon blue jumper on. I had slid the umbrella into the jacket pocket, but had forgotten to take it out when it had actually started raining. I checked my watch, and began to tap my booted foot on the linoleum floor. (_Yeah, so basically I was sitting in this swanky hotel lobby in a drenched rain jacket, in black jeans and a __white_ _shirt with stars and hearts on it and booties, trying to look like I belonged there. __**(Pstf, yeah right)**__) _

"There you are." I said as I finally stood up to hug him. (_There are 4 in heels on these puppies, people. And I still have to go on my tip-toes. The brother is __tall_) "I swear, you could've taken the all day, I'm sure I could wait another-" I glimpsed at my watch, "6 or 7 hours." I couldn't hold back the sarcasm that was dripping from my mouth.

"Alright, I'm sorry. Where do we go first?" Jared knew I was kidding, but he looked a little hurt on the subject.

"We'll get a cab and go to Camden Market, you'll love it. There's all kinds of little boutiques, and kiosks, they sell everything. Or we could go to Leicester Square."

"Can we get some food first? I'm starved." Jared was clutching his stomach lightly, "Know a good, hole-in-the-wall place?"

"I know just the one." I grabbed his hand, "We'll walk there." I dragged him out of the hotel lobby and we began walking down the gray streets of the city. The last time I saw him, we were both in Australia and was acting like he was 4 instead of someone in his late 20s, it was hilarious(_If you really wanna see how he acts, go on YouTube and look up 'AHBL Con: Jared and Jensen: Asking for drugs' if that doesn't put a smile on your face, I don't know what will._)

"So, is there some reason why you never told me that you found someone else?" I stopped dead in my tracks and stared at Jared, almost in fear. "Yeah, I heard from Lauren. And is there some reason why you haven't talked to me?"

I stood for a moment, I hate when he gets like this, it's frustrating. It's just been so frustrating, you've just been so busy, I've been running around, finishing school, starting a career, balancing friends, family, a boyfriend." I sighed, "I'm sorry Jared, it's just-" I sighed, "it hasn't been super easy since I've had to move." Jared just nodded, that's why we get on so well, he never criticizes me, unless it's serious, he just listens. I could tell him anything (_including the parent-swap(__**yes, I did tell him**__))_and he'd never say a word.

We continued to walk until we reached the corner of an alleyway and the sidewalk, I pointed to the door of a small restaurant, its was a small diner that served almost anything under the sun. We grabbed a booth in the corner and we both ordered coffee (_Stupid Tom, drank my life away_). Once the waitress went back to the counter, Jared stared at me, a mix of worry and happiness on his face.

"So, do you think that you'll stay here?" I looked at him for a moment, "I mean, you always say that America's your home, no matter what."

"I don't know, I guess I've never really thought about it." I answered honestly, I looked at my hands, resting on the table, "I know that I can't forget home, no matter how much I want to, but I feel so much more at home here, more than I have ever been."

"And then there's your boyfriend," Jared pointed out, as our coffee came, "Thank you." He smiled at our waitress, who blushed furiously before responding with a love-struck 'Your _very_ welcome' and scampering off.

"Oh, your so welcome." I did a small imitation. Jared rolled his eyes at me and took a swig of his coffee, "But, seriously. Are you ever gonna settle down with someone?" It's true though, he's never really had a serious girlfriend, they've lasted for a few months, enough for me to meet them, and he tosses them to the curb.

"I don't know." I eyed him, I can always tell when he's lying to me, "Okay, hopefully, yes, soon." Then he was silent, I dropped the subject. Our food was ordered by the constantly blushing waitress, trying to gain Jared's attention, though it was obviously focused on me(_which I didn't know that was happening_). She gave me the death glare before huffing off to place our order, "I think she thinks we're a couple." I said to him, letting out a small giggle. But Jared was too busy staring into space, "Jare." I snapped my manicured fingers in his face. "Earth to Jare, Mars is on line 1." I waved my hand in his face as well, hoping he'd wake up from day dreaming.

"What? Sorry, just thinking about something." Jared seemed to shake whatever he was thinking out of his mind, sending his long-ish brown locks to tremble. I just nodded my head, as if to ask him 'are you still alive in that head of yours?'. "So, new makeup career. How's it coming along?"

"Good, I submitted my portfolio this morning. Hopefully by the next week or so, I'll have a few clients to work on." I tapped my hands on the table in excitement. A smiling growing rapidly on my face.

"That's good, I told you that you could do it." Jared was now smiling at me.

"Wow, that was really good food." Jared was clutching his stomach(_I swear that thing is like a bottomless pit, I bet that in 5 minutes, he'll ask for another good place for food._) "You know how to pick 'em, Jo."

"Oh, I try." I rolled my eyes. He stared at me for a while, "What?" I threw my hands up, "I go downtown all the time, if I didn't know better, I might know every street in this area." I looked up to the sky, as if I was thinking intently.

"Oh, get a grip." Jared playfully shoved me, before throwing his arm(_which weighs like 20 pounds_) around my shoulders and pulling him closer to me. "So, some shopping?"

"Yep, I know the perfect place for souvenirs." I smiled along with him as we continued to walk down into Westminster. "This is the heart of the city of London." I looked around us, sighing, "I'd love to live around here some day."

"Why? It's so busy and-" Jared was cut off by a biker on the sidewalk, yelling at him. Once he whizzed by I told him to piss off. "Rude."

"Well, why do people live in New York?" I asked him back, he gave me no answer, "Whatever reason people live there, is my reason to live here." I simply answered. "Besides, I feel so much more alive here than anywhere else." I paused, thinking, "Well, except Tom and Gia's house." Jared rolled his eyes.

"What now?" I looked at him as we entered the small shoppe. "What could possibly be wrong now?"

"Nothing. You just seem so... different." Jared was staring at me in wonder, "You've already been here for 3 months and you've made a complete 360." I looked through the thousand books on Buckingham Palace and the London Eye as Jared spoke, listening to every word he said. "You're not Jo anymore."

I stopped skimming through the books instantly, "What? Of course I'm Jo." I stared at him in complete disbelief. "I haven't changed, I'm just so happy here." He continued to stare at me. "And I'm definitely _not _having this conversation in a store of all the goddamn places on earth." I finished in a hush tone, I felt I was looking daggers at him. I can't believe him that I was hearing this, that I'm not Jo, give me a break.

"Come on." I grabbed his hand and yanked him out of the shoppe. I pulled him into the alley next to the store and came to the area behind I think was an abandoned building.

"Jo, what's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" I stared at him like he just told me that there was no such thing as water(_or something vital-you know what I mean_). "I'll be nice and tell you. You just told me that I'm not Jo anymore. So I've changed since I moved here, what's your point? People change all the time." I felt my blood boil as I continued to talk, "And furthermore, what's so wrong with me being happy, Jared? Do you want me to roam the earth, miserable, until I turn blue and cold?"

"No, that's not what I meant.-" I cut him off, I was on a roll

"Then what exactly do you mean?" I was furious. Did he not want me to be happy?

"Forget it." He began to walk away from me.

"Jared, wait." I ran up so I was now facing him, I looked up at him. "I'm sorry." I sighed. "I'll listen to whatever you have to say and I won't say a word." I grasped his hand. "Just talk to me."

Jared looked at the ground, then back at me. "Can we do it somewhere else?" He looked around, "Like a little more private."

"Well, Tom and Gia's house should be cleared out." Since Jewel and Lauren were jealous of me going to see Jared, they had planned a whole day together, but I was welcome to come when I thought I had spent sufficient time with Jared. Tom was at the Studio and Gia had taken a train to Ipswich for work. "We'll take the tube and walk the rest of the way."

Jared nodded, "Let's go." He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and we walked out of the alley and towards the station just two blocks from where we were.

We sat in silence the entire ride back home, I tried to think of something to say, but there was nothing. Not in the vast corners of my mind that I usually lock up from connecting to my mouth even fathom anything that would break the quiet between us. And of course, the trip itself seemed impossible with nothing to do to pass the time.

So I sat there like an idiot, twiddling my thumbs and staring at the signs we saw as we passed by, the newspapers people had open, reading them intently, or the ones that were abandoned on the floor or a chair. There was nothing I could do but wait until Jared and I were inside the house.

"Okay," I sighed as I began to take my raincoat off, which was still damp from the rain earlier that day. I walked into the den, knowing that Jared would follow and sit next to me on the sofa. "What is it that you wanted to talk to me about?"

Jared sighed, "It's not gonna be easy to say this."

"I'll try to be patient." I smiled, caused Jared to do the same. "Just take a deep breath and start from the beginning."

Jared nodded as he closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. "It's not that I'm not upset that you're not bitter anymore, I'm happy that you're happy." I nodded, "But, that you're happy here, without me in the picture-" I stared at him, confused by his last statement.

"Of course you are, you're like a big brother to me, Jared. You always be a part of my life and I wouldn't have it any other way." I laid a hand on the one he had on the sofa.

"I know that I'm part of your life, but not in the way I want to be." Now that one really started to get me worried.

"Jared, what are you trying to say?" I pulled a piece of my hair back, "I'm stumped, be a little more specific."

"Jo," Jared was staring at me straight in the eye, I could see that his chest was rising a little faster than normal. "I love you."


	5. Kick Me While I'm Down

**Hey all! I'm back! Again. Sorry that's it's been so long but I was going through files on my computer and I saw this and had to finish it and post it for you all. Please enjoy and review.**

* * *

"You what?" I stood up and walked to the corner of the room, I was biting on my thumb nail, thousands of thoughts whirling through my head as I faced the rough surface of the walls.

"I love you. I've been in love with you for such a long time." I could hear the creak of the couch from Jared standing, "But there's never been the right moment to tell you."

"Really? I wonder why?" Sarcasm was dripping from my shocked tone of voice as I whipped around to face Jared, but soon walking towards the doorway. "So you wait until now to tell me?" I ran my fingers through my hair, my eyes darting around the floor, trying to conjure up something to respond to that stupid statement Jared had professed to me.

I swallowed the tears that were growing, if I didn't play my cards right, our whole friendship that's lasted for years could go down the drain. "I need some time to think." I couldn't even look at him, my head was racked with guilt, I could feel my heart swelling in the pain that I was going to have to put Jared through.

"Sure. I'll be in town for a few more days," Jared kissed the top of my forehead like he always does when I'm distressed. "Call me whenever." He said that with such caviler that I thought the whole 'love' thing was a joke. But I knew better, I knew _so_ much better. I saw him walk away towards the front door, before giving me one last puppy-eyed look and closing the door behind him.

I couldn't move, I just collapsed to the floor, curling into a ball on my side. The tears were inevitable at this point, my body was trembling. Moments passed before I heard a car pull into the driveway, but I only made the effort to push myself onto the sofa and turn on the TV, drowning out the small sobs that were coming from my mouth.

"Oh, Jo. You're back soon." Tom said as he put his hoodie on the banister, opposite from my rain jacket. "Have a good time?" He looked so happy as he pulled out a bottle of water that was from the pocket in his hoodie.

"Mm, hm." I couldn't open my mouth because, wails and cries would have taken place of words. I smiled up at Tom, hoping that my acting skills would pay off.

They didn't.

"Jo, is something wrong?" Tom then sat next to me on the sofa, "Have you been crying?" I didn't even think to wipe the tear streaks away from my eyes, though I did it subconsciously when Tom asked. I just nodded to Tom's questions. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

My breath came out in gasps as I opened my mouth, Tom just put an arm on my shoulders, scooting closer to me. "Take your time." I nodded my response as I took a deep breath, feeling my eyelids trembling. And that only happens when I'm near rock bottom.

"Jared and I- we got into a fight-" Gasps broke the sentence into fragments as I spoke, "when we were- in Westminster. We came here- and he- told- me- that he- loved me." I could feel myself breaking down again. I bit my lip until it went numb, which meant that it would soon start bleeding.

"And you don't feel the same." Tom said calmly, I just nodded my head, "And you don't want to ruin that friendship you have with him, right?"

"Right." I sniffled a moment, then I saw the tissue box Tom was holding onto. I swiped my nose with the Kleenex and held it in my hand tightly. "I love him, but as a brother. I don't know what I'm going to say, I don't want to hurt him." Of course I didn't want to hurt someone I really cared about. "Tom, I hate this." I managed to say. "How do I even tell him?"

"I could do it for you if you want me to." He began to rub my shoulder furthest from him.

I shook my head, "It's not fair to him if I let someone else do the dirty work for me." I sighed, "But that's so sweet of you, Tom." I started to feel so guilty. "What would Doug say about this?" I felt my body tremble again as I pulled my hair back. I looked at Tom as I thought, "I should tell him, honesty." I said, "But- I hate doing this."

"I know you do." Tom gave me a hug, "Do you want some soup or coffee? Some tea will calm you down." I nodded.

"Some green tea would be great." I called to him, as I let my legs drop over the edge of the sofa and I slumped, digging my curved back into the back of the soft cushions on the couch. "I want to be honest with him, but I'm don't want him to be hurt either." I sighed as Tom sat back down near me.

"If I lock myself in my room for a few days, not talking to anyone, can you respect that?" He nodded. I stood up, straightening my back and taking a deep breath of air into my lungs. "I'll be upstairs. Knock on my door when the cuppa's done." I then walked to the stairs and trampled up them. Closing the door behind me and locking it.

* * *

Three hours. I sat on the hardwood floor in my room and sipped my tea, listening to meditation music on my computer, my eyes closed legs crossed. I was clearing my mind of all the worries.

I jumped when I heard a knock on the door. "Just a minute." I paused the music and rolled my shoulders as I stood up and walked to the door. "Danny?" I looked at him with complete confusion, "What the hell are you doing here?" He was looking at me blankly, shrugging at me. I closed my eyes in anger, "I will _murder_ Tom." Danny laughed, "So he told you?"

"Yep, who knew that you were tangled in this much disaster." I nodded as he walked in. "Tom's said that you were 'meditating'. I had to see to believe it."

I pursed my lips, "What is the big deal? Whenever I have a big decision to make, I meditate on my options, and I stay a lot calmer." Danny looked at me skeptically, "For an hour or so." I admit as he snickered. I sat next to him on my bed, "Have you ever made a decision as big as this, Dan?"

He shook his head, "Bigger." I looked at him, "When I left Bolton, and started writing songs with Tom, I thought of giving up, but I stuck with it. I had to give up my family, but they loved me enough that they accepted that I was happy." I nodded as he spoke, you'd be surprised when you talk to Danny and actually learn something. "And I think, if you know how to play your cards right, you and Jared will still be mates, but he won't get hurt. Besides, I think you should stick with Doug, you two are just about made for each other." Woah, Danny using a cliché was a rare thing, and he usually meant it. I knew he was right.

I smiled, "You know, that really helped, thanks Dan." I jutted my chin at the phone, "Can you hand it over?" He looked at me as he handed it to me. "Now get out, I need to talk to my boyfriend." He smiled as he walked out, closing the door behind him.

Heavily, I sighed, it was going to be difficult, but I have to tell him. I dialed in Dougie's number and waited for him to pick up. _"Hello?"_

"Dougie? It's Jo."

_"Hi, is something wrong?" _His voice sounded uneasy but he seemed to mask it pretty well.

"Um, it's a bit complicated. But if I'm able to pop over,"

_"Oh, yeah. I'll see you in a bit."_ _Click_. Chewing my bottom lip as I hung up, he really knew that something was up. I pulled my hair back as I stood up and looked at my mirror, my cheeks were still slightly swollen from the salty tears, my eyes looked pink, but they were fading quickly. Some makeup had dissolved, but they left no marks on my cheeks. I smiled at myself and sighed heavily, this was not going to be easy. I walked to my door and swallowed as I opened it and walked down the stairs.

Tom was in the den, and he must have seen me, "Where are you going?" He asked, getting up and closing his book (Harry Potter, of course. But it could have been Twilight as far as I could tell what the book was).

"I'm going over to tell Dougie." Tom gave me an 'are you sure?' look. "He has a right to know." I grabbed a black hoodie, Dougie's actually, and my set of keys. I head for the door, before I turn back to Tom, Danny now walking up behind him. "If I need anything, I'll call." I brave a smile before opening the door and stepping out in the some-what frigid air of autumn. I tightened the hoodie around my body as I walked forward towards Dougie's flat. It would take about half an hour, but it would give me some time to think about what I was going to tell him and how I was going to say it.

A wind had picked up since the time I had been outside. It was a gentle, but it would stop and pick up in another direction, whipping my hair over my face, my eyes watering and growing sore. I knew that I had to tell him, but I knew that I was going to start balling and sobbing again. I felt my lungs contracting just thinking about what I was going to say. I could see his flat and the light from inside. I swallow as I unlocked the outside door and go to the door down the hall to his flat. He may have given me a key to the building, but not his flat, I knock on the door and wait patiently. I wait a few more moments before knocking again. Still nothing.

"Dougie?" I crouched down and looked in the mail slot, hoping to see something. "Doug, are you there?" There was nothing. I reached underneath my bangs (or fringe) and put a bobby pin in my hands and jabbed it in the door knob. I had learned how to pick a lock from 'Supernatural' when I was visiting the set one year. I heard the click of the lock and knew that I was in. "Dougie?"

Footfalls that were out of beat and time came closer to me. "There she is, the girl who throws herself everywhere." I knew that voice.

"Doug? What's going on?" His hair was mussed and he looked like he had just gotten out of bed. I could smell the alcohol from across the room. "Have you been drinking whiskey or something?" Worry for my own sake turned to worry for Dougie. "How many have you had?"

"Don't you act like you care. I know everything." His words slurred. Now I was worried, who told him? Did Jared call him and talk shit to him about how we were going to be together or something? Did Danny open his big mouth and spill the beans? "About how you're a two-timing bitch."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I could feel my chest tighten again, my chest was heaving, my legs trembled a bit.

"You and your American two-timer. You went behind my back. You're nothing but a two-faced backstabber." He shook his head, "I was so stupid, I knew that you were over him-" Okay, so he's definitely _not _talking about the Jared fiasco. There was only one other person in the world. Caleb. That bastard.

"Dougie, please. Listen." I tried hard not to yell, out of anger for Caleb that two-timing bastard child. "I don't even have Caleb's number on my cell anymore. Why would I be going behind your back when I-

"I don't care how, but I know when you're lying." Okay, now he was drunk. "Maybe you should go." His voice grew even more quiet. "Maybe we should call it quits."

I had it, it had been a year or so but I couldn't control myself anymore. I blew my top. "Fine!" Dougie jumped from his standing position. "Don't listen to me! You wanna know why I came over here? To fucking tell you that Jared poured his heart out to me,and that he wanted to be with me. But I was going to choose you, you bastard! Over someone I've known for practically my entire life for you! I can't believe that you took that lying shit that Caleb shoved down your throat over what I was trying to tell you!" I could feel tears streaming down my face again. "And to even think that I loved you is so fucking ridiculous!" Dougie gave me a shocked look. "That's right! I love you, Dougie Poynter! But you don't give a shit! I'm through with you" I was so angry and upset at the same time. "So fuck you!" I screamed at the top of my lungs and left his flat. Slamming the door behind me.

I was going to kill Caleb, slowly and painfully. Then burn his body and dump the ashes in the Thames. (_I know that's really dark and twisted, but I watch horror movies for God's sake. And I was really pissed off._) I huffed with tears tumbling over my cheeks, soaking Dougie's sweatshirt. I had to get rid of it. I unzipped it quickly and threw it to the floor, twenty or so steps from his flat. I ran. I ran back home as fast as I could. I ran from Dougie, Caleb, Jared. I kept running, past Tom and Gia's house, knowing that I was freezing, but I couldn't tell. I just kept running. Jewel.

I needed Jewel. I stopped and picked my phone from my pocket and dialed her number. I wrapped my hand around my waist. I got the voicemail. "Jew, pick up your damn phone. I was wondering if I could crash with you for a few days. I'll be at the Starbucks outside of the village, call me or meet me there in 10 minutes." I hung up. I didn't know that I had run to basically the other side of the gated community that all the guys lived in. I still my keys so I unlocked the gate and walked two more blocks to Starbucks. (_Pft, and Tom would rather drive than get some exercise_) I got in, grabbed a vanilla latte, ignoring the looks I had received from when I first entered and waited, in the corner. All alone.

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** I'm sure you all hate me right now, but don't worry. I have a plan (usually that's a bad thing. Not for this story though). Please review, subscribe, favorite, whatever you do, thank you in advance.**


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